Monday, February 2, 2009

Final Crisis Post Mortem Interlude: The Song at the End of the World

In Final Crisis 7, Superman finally kills Darkseid by singing a song into the newly constructed Miracle Machine. Morrison doesn't let the reader know exactly what song Superman sings, but instead leaves it up to the reader to fill in this particular gap.

Here's how I like to think it went down:



What song do you think killed Darkseid?

Updated

Chris Sims presents a good argument that only the unholy sound of Katy Perry could destroy the ultimate evil. If only she would then be encased in inertron to protect the rest of us.

Dorian imagines that Superman would destroy Darkseid with a song about his own existential angst.

Mike Sterling believes that Darkseid could be brought down by the same thing that caused my parents to bang on my bedroom door and scream, "KEEP THAT NOISE DOWN!"

Benjamin Birdie says what everyone already knows: Superman is a big Bikini Kill! fan.

In Kevin Church's world, Superman is singing the Ladyhawke cover.

Dave Campbell helps explain why Darkseid destroyed Indiana first.

Bully also presents a strong case that Michael Parè has something to answer for.

Special thanks to Kevin Church for putting the image and text together and saving me from throwing in a sloppily pasted word balloon and text in ComicSans.

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Gimme Dat Ding! Gimme Dat! Gimme Gimme Dat!"

Mordwa said...

Geez people; it's SUPERMAN ferchrissake. What else could it be?

"Kumbaya my love, Kumbaya-"

Anonymous said...

Ba ba Bird! The bird is the word! Bird bird bird! The bird is the word!

("Surfin' Bird")

Bill S. said...

"Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" by Lesley Gore.

Intruder_W said...

Dial "S" for Scatman

"Ski ba bop ba bop"

Elsan said...

"I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world..."

Edgar Allan Moore said...

"Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"

Charles said...

How could it be anything besides "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor?

William Gatevackes said...

"You're Romeo, and I'm the Scarlet Letter"

Or...

"My Milkshake, brings all the boys to the yard, damn right, it's better than yours, I'd teach you, but I'd have to charge"

JohnGlennTaylor said...

"Red skies are gonna clear up,
Put On A Happy Face..."

Fred said...

Neeeeear! Faaaaar! Wherever you aaaaaaare!
I believe that the heart does go oooooon!

Crowded House said...

"Take-these broken wings. And learn to fly again, learn to live so free! And when we hear-the voices sing-the book of love will open up and let us in!"

Or, alternately:

"Roxanne! You don't have to put on the red light..."

willc2 said...

Oh

Mandy

well you came and you gave without taking

But I sent you away

oh Mandy

Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking

And I need you today

oh Mandy.

Rob H. said...

When a problem comes along/ You must whip it/ Before the cream sets out to long/ You must whip it

Charles said...

Mai-ee-ya-HEE! Mai-ee-ya-HO! Mai-ee-ya-HEE! Mai-ee-ya-HO-HO!

heffison said...

"I am, I am, I am Superman...and I can do anything...."

Or maybe Kate Bush's "Pull Out the Pin." If he could hit the "I love Life!" line with her intensity, yeah, that would knock out a god.

Gardner said...

I like to think it went something like this.

Mark Parsons said...

John Lee Hooker:

Boom
Boom
Boom
Boom
I'm gonna shoot you right down
Right offa your feet.

Kincsem1874 said...

My first thought was Traffic

And the thing that you're
hearing is only the sound of
the low spark of high-heeled boys


Why, I don't know.

Baddie said...

This is my answer and deep in my heart, I know I'm right.

Gardner said...

Or this.

K. D. Bryan said...

In seriousness, the song Superman sings is difficult to quantify. One must assume that the song is a song that demands a response from the listener, in order to encourage the multiverse itself to respond to his fervent wish. Additionally, the song must embrace life and demand an escape from stasis - preferably via creation in a physical form as a response to the encroaching darkness (i.e. lovemaking in the dead of night). Lastly, the song should encourage a total embrace of life in all it's vagaries while discouraging a dangerous over-reliance on one's body and one's intellect. Given his thematic use of "story", one might also assume that Morrison would also want to encourage a reference to the act of writing in the song.

As a result, there is only one possible song Superman could be singing to save creation:

"If you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain / If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain / If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape / I'm the love that you've looked for / Write to me and escape!"

Adam said...

Only "Aga-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree/Aga-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee/To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees/Come and dance every night, sing with a hula melody" could have the lasting destructive power witnessed here...

Thomas C said...

K.D. Bryan makes my feeble attempt seem pointless:

"Feed my Frankenstein...
Hungry for love and it's feeding time"

Anonymous said...

Based on the ship he was flying around in in "Beyond 3-D" I'd have to go with "Yellow Submarine"

-Pope Impious XXIII

Edward Liu said...

"NA-NA-na-na, na-na-NA-NA,
NA-NA-na-na, na-na-NA-NA,
NA-NA-na-na, na-na-NA-NA,
NA-NA-na-na, na-na-NA-NA,
BAT-MAN!!!
BAT-MAN!!!!!!!"

He even did the "Biff" Pow" sound-effects as he was singing, thanks to Kryptonian polyglottal singing techniques.

Alternately,

"Ah Louie, Louie! OH, no, a we-ca-go. YAH-yah-yah-yah-yah, Me glah mah boo a-blah-blah-bee. Blah gwah me blah a goo goo zee."

John Seavey said...

"Shootin' at the walls of heartache, BANG BANG! I am the Warrior..."

Because Superman rocks it old skool.

I, Warren said...

Clearly it's:

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny

~P~ said...

"Don't Worry.... Be Happy!"
(with all the do-do-doo's... it'll drive anyone insane)

Or perhaps the BARNEY song:

"I love you. You love me..."

~P~
Sanctum Sanctorum Comix

Harvey Jerkwater said...

To geek out TO THE EXTREME: Superman must have sang the same song Ben Grimm played on the harmonica to re-created the destroyed universe in Marvel Two-in-One #7.

Yeah, that's right. A reference to a single comic book story from the mid-seventies. Top that, my fellow nerds. Hoiven glaven!

Quilty said...

You've got the TOUCH!

You've got the PO-WERRR!!!!

Anonymous said...

"You don't really love that guy you make it with now do you
I know you don't love that guy cause I can see right through you"

joncormier said...

Momma said knock you out!
Huh!
I'm gonna knock you out!
Ha!

Ade said...

I believe that Superman is secretly a Bon Jovi fan and was waiting for the right moment to unleash all its fury on Darkseid.

Believe me.

Anonymous said...

"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there..."

For the Anti-Life Equation pales beside the quintessential horror that is Manilow's Copacabana.

Maxo said...

Like a rainbow, a rainbow in the DA-AA-AA-AA-ARK!!

Anonymous said...

And War? Intolerance? Hungry?

The League said...

"Ring Ring Ring Ring! Bananaphone!"

The sound of Raffi is the sound of hope.

Nick Marino said...

"It's raining men! Hallelujah! It's raining men! Ehh-hey-hey!"

Jeff Sparkman said...

"In the year 2525, if man is still alive..."

or

"Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy..."

Evie said...

"What if God was one of us..."

Topical, but also one of the worst songs of all time AND grammatically hideous. I nearly disintegrate just thinking about it.

Jake Saint said...

"oh, what will the signal be
for your eyes to see me..."

Hell, it worked once already.

Chris Millward said...

"Come on baby shake your body do that conga, I know you can't control yourself any longer!" ~ Gloria Estefan & The Miami Sound Machine 'Conga'

Bill D. said...

Trust me. This would work:

http://trustyplinkostick.blogspot.com/2009/02/superman-watches-more-childrens-tv-than.html

Erich said...

"What the world needs now is love, sweet love..."

Or:

"Light of the world, shine on me, love is the answer..."

Biftec said...

"When we are strong/No one can tell us we're wrong/Searching our hearts for so long/Both of us knowing/Love Is a Battlefield."

Sea_of_Green said...

"Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an EGG-!"

This has been the best running gag in the blogosphere in AGES. :-) Well done!

They Call Me Calamity said...

I think this is probably correct

Erich said...

I couldn't stop, I had to do four more...

Sleestak said...

http://tinyurl.com/arak4t

PrimeOp said...

The word balloon was originally wordless because he was mouth-trumpeting the horns from "Pick Up the Pieces."

Ostrakos said...

http://myexecrablevanity.blogspot.com/2009/02/supermans-song.html#comments

googum said...

I'm gonna say, Orbital's "Satan" and the joke only works if you start the song right away...

Anonymous said...

There have been a million great jokes here, but I'd say 'All you need is love' would be a decent not joke candidate.

Gary said...

It's obviously the opening wail that Robert Plant did for "Immigrant Song"... Ahhhh-a-aaaahhhhhh ahhhhh!

luminum said...

1st panel balloon: "Like a virgin..."

2nd panel: "...Hey!"

Frank said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BrNeo said...

You are all wrong. The right music is a Whitney Houston's song:

"AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!"

Esteban said...

This is the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjeMDvCdrtc

Jawsh said...

It was skatman you guys.

GrendelRed said...

You're all wrong. It is clear from Green Lantern's follow up lyric later in the issue of "Let the sun shine in" that Superman sang THE FIFTH DIMENSION'S "AQUARIUS/LET THE SUN SHINE IN."

This is the dawning of the age of aquarius. Age of aquari-uh-hus!

Grady said...

"I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down!"

or maybe

"Believe or not I'm walking on air/Never thought I could feel so free./Flying away on a wing and a prayer./Who could it be?/Believe it or not it's just me.

Ed Murphy said...

"Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse"

You Have Lost The Game said...

Dudes and dudettes... You read DC long enough, how can it be any song but SplitEnz "History Never Repeats"...