Here's how I like to think it went down:
What song do you think killed Darkseid?
Updated
Chris Sims presents a good argument that only the unholy sound of Katy Perry could destroy the ultimate evil. If only she would then be encased in inertron to protect the rest of us.
Dorian imagines that Superman would destroy Darkseid with a song about his own existential angst.
Mike Sterling believes that Darkseid could be brought down by the same thing that caused my parents to bang on my bedroom door and scream, "KEEP THAT NOISE DOWN!"
Benjamin Birdie says what everyone already knows: Superman is a big Bikini Kill! fan.
In Kevin Church's world, Superman is singing the Ladyhawke cover.
Dave Campbell helps explain why Darkseid destroyed Indiana first.
Bully also presents a strong case that Michael Parè has something to answer for.
Special thanks to Kevin Church for putting the image and text together and saving me from throwing in a sloppily pasted word balloon and text in ComicSans.
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63 comments:
"Gimme Dat Ding! Gimme Dat! Gimme Gimme Dat!"
Geez people; it's SUPERMAN ferchrissake. What else could it be?
"Kumbaya my love, Kumbaya-"
Ba ba Bird! The bird is the word! Bird bird bird! The bird is the word!
("Surfin' Bird")
"Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" by Lesley Gore.
Dial "S" for Scatman
"Ski ba bop ba bop"
"I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world..."
"Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"
How could it be anything besides "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor?
"You're Romeo, and I'm the Scarlet Letter"
Or...
"My Milkshake, brings all the boys to the yard, damn right, it's better than yours, I'd teach you, but I'd have to charge"
"Red skies are gonna clear up,
Put On A Happy Face..."
Neeeeear! Faaaaar! Wherever you aaaaaaare!
I believe that the heart does go oooooon!
"Take-these broken wings. And learn to fly again, learn to live so free! And when we hear-the voices sing-the book of love will open up and let us in!"
Or, alternately:
"Roxanne! You don't have to put on the red light..."
Oh
Mandy
well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away
oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today
oh Mandy.
When a problem comes along/ You must whip it/ Before the cream sets out to long/ You must whip it
Mai-ee-ya-HEE! Mai-ee-ya-HO! Mai-ee-ya-HEE! Mai-ee-ya-HO-HO!
"I am, I am, I am Superman...and I can do anything...."
Or maybe Kate Bush's "Pull Out the Pin." If he could hit the "I love Life!" line with her intensity, yeah, that would knock out a god.
I like to think it went something like this.
John Lee Hooker:
Boom
Boom
Boom
Boom
I'm gonna shoot you right down
Right offa your feet.
My first thought was Traffic
And the thing that you're
hearing is only the sound of
the low spark of high-heeled boys
Why, I don't know.
This is my answer and deep in my heart, I know I'm right.
In seriousness, the song Superman sings is difficult to quantify. One must assume that the song is a song that demands a response from the listener, in order to encourage the multiverse itself to respond to his fervent wish. Additionally, the song must embrace life and demand an escape from stasis - preferably via creation in a physical form as a response to the encroaching darkness (i.e. lovemaking in the dead of night). Lastly, the song should encourage a total embrace of life in all it's vagaries while discouraging a dangerous over-reliance on one's body and one's intellect. Given his thematic use of "story", one might also assume that Morrison would also want to encourage a reference to the act of writing in the song.
As a result, there is only one possible song Superman could be singing to save creation:
"If you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain / If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain / If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape / I'm the love that you've looked for / Write to me and escape!"
Only "Aga-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree/Aga-doo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee/To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees/Come and dance every night, sing with a hula melody" could have the lasting destructive power witnessed here...
K.D. Bryan makes my feeble attempt seem pointless:
"Feed my Frankenstein...
Hungry for love and it's feeding time"
Based on the ship he was flying around in in "Beyond 3-D" I'd have to go with "Yellow Submarine"
-Pope Impious XXIII
"NA-NA-na-na, na-na-NA-NA,
NA-NA-na-na, na-na-NA-NA,
NA-NA-na-na, na-na-NA-NA,
NA-NA-na-na, na-na-NA-NA,
BAT-MAN!!!
BAT-MAN!!!!!!!"
He even did the "Biff" Pow" sound-effects as he was singing, thanks to Kryptonian polyglottal singing techniques.
Alternately,
"Ah Louie, Louie! OH, no, a we-ca-go. YAH-yah-yah-yah-yah, Me glah mah boo a-blah-blah-bee. Blah gwah me blah a goo goo zee."
"Shootin' at the walls of heartache, BANG BANG! I am the Warrior..."
Because Superman rocks it old skool.
Clearly it's:
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
"Don't Worry.... Be Happy!"
(with all the do-do-doo's... it'll drive anyone insane)
Or perhaps the BARNEY song:
"I love you. You love me..."
~P~
Sanctum Sanctorum Comix
To geek out TO THE EXTREME: Superman must have sang the same song Ben Grimm played on the harmonica to re-created the destroyed universe in Marvel Two-in-One #7.
Yeah, that's right. A reference to a single comic book story from the mid-seventies. Top that, my fellow nerds. Hoiven glaven!
You've got the TOUCH!
You've got the PO-WERRR!!!!
"You don't really love that guy you make it with now do you
I know you don't love that guy cause I can see right through you"
Momma said knock you out!
Huh!
I'm gonna knock you out!
Ha!
I believe that Superman is secretly a Bon Jovi fan and was waiting for the right moment to unleash all its fury on Darkseid.
Believe me.
"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there..."
For the Anti-Life Equation pales beside the quintessential horror that is Manilow's Copacabana.
Like a rainbow, a rainbow in the DA-AA-AA-AA-ARK!!
And War? Intolerance? Hungry?
"Ring Ring Ring Ring! Bananaphone!"
The sound of Raffi is the sound of hope.
"It's raining men! Hallelujah! It's raining men! Ehh-hey-hey!"
"In the year 2525, if man is still alive..."
or
"Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy..."
"What if God was one of us..."
Topical, but also one of the worst songs of all time AND grammatically hideous. I nearly disintegrate just thinking about it.
"oh, what will the signal be
for your eyes to see me..."
Hell, it worked once already.
"Come on baby shake your body do that conga, I know you can't control yourself any longer!" ~ Gloria Estefan & The Miami Sound Machine 'Conga'
Trust me. This would work:
http://trustyplinkostick.blogspot.com/2009/02/superman-watches-more-childrens-tv-than.html
"What the world needs now is love, sweet love..."
Or:
"Light of the world, shine on me, love is the answer..."
"When we are strong/No one can tell us we're wrong/Searching our hearts for so long/Both of us knowing/Love Is a Battlefield."
"Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an EGG-!"
This has been the best running gag in the blogosphere in AGES. :-) Well done!
I think this is probably correct
I couldn't stop, I had to do four more...
http://tinyurl.com/arak4t
The word balloon was originally wordless because he was mouth-trumpeting the horns from "Pick Up the Pieces."
http://myexecrablevanity.blogspot.com/2009/02/supermans-song.html#comments
I'm gonna say, Orbital's "Satan" and the joke only works if you start the song right away...
There have been a million great jokes here, but I'd say 'All you need is love' would be a decent not joke candidate.
It's obviously the opening wail that Robert Plant did for "Immigrant Song"... Ahhhh-a-aaaahhhhhh ahhhhh!
1st panel balloon: "Like a virgin..."
2nd panel: "...Hey!"
You are all wrong. The right music is a Whitney Houston's song:
"AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!"
This is the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjeMDvCdrtc
It was skatman you guys.
You're all wrong. It is clear from Green Lantern's follow up lyric later in the issue of "Let the sun shine in" that Superman sang THE FIFTH DIMENSION'S "AQUARIUS/LET THE SUN SHINE IN."
This is the dawning of the age of aquarius. Age of aquari-uh-hus!
"I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down! I get knocked down, but I get up again! Aint never gona keep me down!"
or maybe
"Believe or not I'm walking on air/Never thought I could feel so free./Flying away on a wing and a prayer./Who could it be?/Believe it or not it's just me.
"Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse"
Dudes and dudettes... You read DC long enough, how can it be any song but SplitEnz "History Never Repeats"...
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