News and Updates

I first wanted to let readers know that it will be a few days before I update with the next Exile on Main St. annotation, but after that, I hope to do them fairly regularly. Also, I want to take this time to make a few announcements.

I recently got my contributor's copy of Encyclopedia of Comic Books and Graphic Novels, edited by M. Keith Booker, from Greenwood Press.

So, if you want to find out what I have to say about Black Condor, Richie Rich, Hellblazer, Marv Wolfman, and/or Gil Kane (beyond what I already have said about Kane in this blog), then you can stop by your local library and check it out. Or, if you've got $144 to burn, you can buy yourself a set on Amazon.

Here's a taste of what I had to say about Richie Rich:

Covers to Richie Rich comics usually depict the boy using money for purposes other than currency: he carpets his floor and decorates his walls with it, he plays in piles of bills, and dollar signs often appear in his presence. Covers also depict Richie treating other signs of wealth, like gold, jewels, and oil, as playthings.

And despite my hatred of Richie Rich, the entry is completely objective.

And speaking of things to which I'm contributing, The Bureau Chiefs site continues to feature my regular essays on cult movies, so if you're disappointed with the paucity of content here, you might want to check that site out. Also, you can now buy Fake AP Stylebook merchandise straight from the Bureau Chiefs at our Zazzle store.

Finally, in less than a couple of weeks, I'll be heading to HeroesCon in Charlotte with my good friend Chris Sims. I might have some Bureau Chiefs stuff to give away there, so if you want some, stop me and say, "Hi!" Or say "Hi!" even if you don't want anything. I also may be spending some time hanging out at the Action Age Comics table with Chris and the gang there.

The Annotated Exile: Rocks Off

The Rolling Stones' classic 1972 album Exile on Main Street has long been one of my favorite records--one which I've purchased in various formats over the years. So, it was with some excitement that I anticipated this week's release of the newly remastered reissue of the album, complete with outtakes and alternative versions.

While listening to this album with "fresh ears" if you will, I realized that it is heavily laden with allusions and references that contemporary audiences may not get. As a scholar, I decided that it could be useful to annotate the lyrics to these songs in hopes that younger listeners might get a better feel for the nuances of this music.

So, starting here, I'm going to go song by song through the album and provide explanation for the nuances, allusions, references, and other literary elements of these songs and their lyrics.

Also, I feel like this should be a collaborative process, as I'm certain I don't know every reference in these songs. Therefore, please feel free to add any annotations that you would like in the comments.

Rocks Off (1)
(Jagger/Richards)

Oh yeah.

I hear you talking when I'm on the street,
Your mouth don't move but I can hear you speak.(2)
What's the matter with the boy?
He don't come around no more,
Is he checking out for sure?
Is he gonna close the door on me? (3)

I'm always hearing voices on the street, (4)
I want to shout, but I can't hardly speak.

I was making love last night
To a dancer friend of mine.(5)
I can't seem to stay in step,
'Cuz she cums ev'ry time that she pirouettes over me.(6)

And I only get my rocks off while I'm dreaming,
I only get my rocks off while I'm sleeping.(7)

I'm zipping through the days at lightning speed.
Plug in, flush out and fire the fuckin' feed.(8)
Heading for the overload,
Splattered on the dirty road,
Kick me like you've kicked before,
I can't even feel the pain no more.(9)

But I only get my rocks off while I'm dreaming,
I only get my rocks off while I'm sleeping.

Feel so hypnotized, can't describe the scene.(10)
Its all mesmerized all that inside me.
The sunshine bores the daylights out of me.(11)
Chasing shadows moonlight mystery.
Headed for the overload,
Splattered on the dirty road,
Kick me like you've kicked before,
I can't even feel the pain no more.

But I only get my rocks off while I'm dreaming,
I only get my rocks off while I'm sleeping.

(1) The title of this song has two meanings. One is a colloquial expression for getting high on drugs, the other is a euphemism for achieving sexual climax. Both meanings will come into play over the course of the song.

(2) I don't think it would be correct to assume here that the speaker has psychic powers.

(3) The "boy" here might be a drug dealer. Drug use features prominently in this song.

(4) Again, the speaker hears voices, but it's probably not some kind of psychic phenomenon. It may have to do with the drugs he is taking.

(5) Mick Jagger has had a lot of sex, often with dancers.

(6) According to Wikipedia, a pirouette is "A controlled turn on one leg, starting with one or both legs in plié and rising onto demi-pointe (usually for men) or pointe (usually for women). The non-supporting leg can be held in retiré position, or in attitude, arabesque level or second position. The pirouette may return to the starting position or finish in arabesque or attitude positions, or proceed otherwise. A pirouette is most often en dehors turning outwards toward the back leg, but can also be en dedans turning inwards toward the front leg. Although ballet pirouettes are performed with the hips and legs rotated outward ('turned out'), it is common to see them performed with an inward rotation ('parallel') in other genres of dance, such as jazz and modern." (There is also an equestrian move called a pirouette, but I don't think Mick means that here, though I wouldn't put it past him.)

The way Wikipedia describes that ballet move, I'm not quite sure how spinning on one leg on top of Mick Jagger would bring a dancer to orgasm. It just doesn't seem physically possible. However, I would also concede that Mick has probably done many things that would seem physically impossible to me.

(7) I'm not sure exactly what this means. It may mean that Mick can only achieve orgasm through nocturnal emissions. I just don't think that's true.

(8) This may be another drug reference, like drugs taken with a hypodermic needle. Or it might refer to an electric guitar or a television. I was only 3 years old in 1972, so I'm not really sure how televisions worked back then.

(9) The fact that he can't feel any pain anymore is the result of taking too many drugs.

(10) If you listen to the song, it gets kind of trippy at this point, as if trying to mimic the experience of being on drugs.

(11) This line contains a pun.

The Pulse-Pounding Return of "Ask Doctor K"!

It's also the triumphant return of the blog, after an unannounced, month-long hiatus while I finished up some other writing that I had to do. Since I received no complaints and my stats actually increased during that time, maybe not writing this blog is the best thing I could do for it.

But during my absence from the blog, I received an urgent question from a concerned parent, which I proceeded to wait a couple of weeks to answer. But, now that my schedule is cleared up, I can bring back one of my favorite features: "Ask Doctor K"!

Dear Dr. K,

Tonight, my son, clad in his Superman pajamas (complete with velcro-attached cape), asked for a reiteration of Superman's special powers. Naturally, I topped the list with "actual flying"--he can fly at will without special gear or tall buildings to leap and glide between, merely simulating flying. A bit later, my son asked, "Does Superman get tired of flying?" to which my husband and I replied in unison, "That's a great question for Dr. K!"

So, Dr. K, does Superman get tired of flying?

Sincerely yours,
A concerned parent

Dear Concerned Parent,

First, tell your son that this is a very good question. It may be the most important question he has ever asked in his young life, as it's very important for his understanding of how Superman interacts with normal humans. First and foremost, Superman never gets tired of flying. It is his favorite thing to do. In fact, he'd rather fly everywhere because (and you may have to cover your ears for this) Superman thinks walking is bullshit.

Seriously, imagine if you could fly, but then, in order to fit in with normal, boring humans, you had to walk everywhere. You could fly anywhere in the city in under ten seconds, but instead, you have to take 20-30 minutes to walk there. So, you can understand why Superman, in his daily disguise as mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent, is constantly telling Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen to pick up the pace when they walk from place to place.

Also, you know how, when you clean up your room and organize your toys, you put your favorite toys in the places that you can get to the easiest? Like, the stuff at the top of the toy box is the stuff you play with the most often, while at the bottom are the broken toys you don't even want anymore? Well, for Superman, he puts his favorite stuff on a shelf near the ceiling so he has to always fly up to get it. That's how much Superman likes to fly.

Also, notice how Superman (again, as Clark Kent) is sitting in this chair:

Right? He's not even sitting in it! He just hovers above the chair pretending to sit in it because he prefers flying to sitting! He must really love flying.

And finally, in case you were going to ask this as a follow-up questions, Superman also hates dancing:

Also, Lois Lane is really mean to Superman.

So, son of A Concerned Parent, I hope this all helps improve your understanding of how Superman deals with flying on a daily basis. Please let me know if there are any other questions I can answer for you.

Sincerely,

Doctor K

And that goes to any readers I might still have: if you or your children have questions that I can answer, feel free to pass them on to me!

Images taken from Action Comics 419, story by Cary Bates, art by Curt Swan and Murphy Andreson.

Blackhawk Wingsdays: The Blackhawks Were Expendable!

After a long delay, I'm glad to say that I'm back with Blackhawk Wingsday, this week finishing out the back-up story from Blackhawk 202: a combat diary entry from World War II titled, "Andre Must Die." (The author of this story is unknown, but the art, as usual, is by Dick Dillin and Chuck Cuidera.)

Many Blackhawk readers have probably longed for the death of this smarmy Frenchman, and as we've seen before, this isn't the first time Andre has been left for dead. Unfortunately, because this is a flashback story, we know that Andre won't really die, but we can always hope.

As the story opens, Andre and Hendrickson parachute behind enemy lines into occupied France in order to deliver some information to French resistance leaders.

As usual, ethnic tensions amongst the Blackhawks threaten to undermine the mission almost before it gets started.

Everything seems to be going fine until Nazis raid the meeting place, and Hendrickson proves to be the worst lookout ever.

With Andre and the resistance leader, Pierre, captured, and Hendrickson's location unknown, the Blackhawks are forced to make a tough decision: go in and rescue Andre.
Actually, that solution never crosses their minds. Instead, the Allied commander gives orders for a bombing run to destroy the location in which Andre is held prisoner so that he can't be tortured to reveal military secrets. The Blackhawks only put up token resistance to this solution because, hey, it's just Andre.

So, they blow the shit out of the Nazi prison, and then they come back to base in order to play some chess. Also, a few days later, Chuck is the first to realize that Hendrickson is also missing.

Luckily, the men don't have to break up their chess game, as both Hendrickson and Andre walk through the door, apparently unscathed and berating their teammates for being lazy assholes.
Hendrickson then regales them with the tale of how he underwent a one-man operation to rescue Andre and Pierre, and the others realize that they probably should have thought of doing something like that.

I guess the final lesson of this story is, just as there's no "I" in "team," there is also no "team" in "rescue operation."

The Gil Kane Punch of the Week 38: All-Request Punch!

In the comments for last week's punch, faithful reader Sea-of-Green made a special request for more Gil Kane Spider-Man punches. And since I desperately want to retain what remaining readers I have, I feel that I need to honor such requests when they come my way.

Unfortunately, I thought I had tapped out the Spider-Man punches I had with this classic, frequently reprinted one from "The Death of Gwen Stacy." However, in going through the trade collection of that story, I came across this flashback panel, from Amazing Spider-Man 96, "--And Now, the Goblin!" written by Stan Lee and inked by John Romita Sr.:


It's a little disappointing that, in this classic story, Gil Kane only included two signature punches, though the later one linked to above is pretty epic. However, this story is loaded with Gil Kane Crazy Floating Heads, so when I get to that feature after the punches run out, you'll be seeing a lot of sweaty, stoned Harry Osborn with pills and heads floating around him.

The Gil Kane Punch of the Week 37: The Good Old One, Two, Three!

Since I've been going to the Green Lantern well a little too often, I decided to switch things up and use a Robin panel, this from "My Place in the Sun," in Detective Comics 402 (Aug. 1970; rpt. in Showcase Presents Robin the Boy Wonder vol. 1), written by Mike Friedrich and inked by Vince Colletta:


It turns out, Robin punches the wrong guy, leading the Boy Wonder to undergo some deep soul searching:

This panel proves that college kids haven't changed that much since 1970. Heck, my students are still talking about Law and Order, though they prefer NCIS for some reason.

The last panel also demonstrates yet another Gil Kane signature technique: the floating head montage. When I run out of Gil Kane punches, which hopefully will be never, I'm going to switch this series to "The Gil Kane Floating Heads of the Week."

Oscar Time!

Over on The Bureau Chiefs' site, I've written the first in my series of cult movie essays, this one on the 1966 film The Oscar, just in time for Sunday's Academy Awards Ceremony.

I love the hell out of this movie in all its glorious badness.

Also, you can find The Bureau Chiefs' Oscar Pool on the site as well. You can see how my picks match up with a few other Bureau Chiefs, along with a random dice roll from a d6. If the d6 wins, I'm going to be pissed.

Then, on Sunday night, some of the Bureau Chiefs are going to live chat the Oscars, so you can follow along with the ceremony. I'm looking forward to that, even though I may be totally embarrassed by my picks this year (last year, I went a respectable 18/24).

Here are my picks for this year.

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Performance by and Actress in a Leading Role: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side

Performance by and Actress in a Supporting Role: Mo’Nique, Precious

Best Animated Feature Film: Up

Art Direction: Avatar

Cinematography: The Hurt Locker

Costume Design: Nine

Best Documentary Feature: The Cove

Best Documentary Short Subject: The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant

Editing: The Hurt Locker

Best Foreign Language Film: The White Ribbon

Makeup: Star Trek

Original Score: Michael Giacchino, Up

Original Song: “The Weary Kind,” Crazy Heart

Best Animated Short: “Logorama”

Best Live Action Short: “Kavi”

Sound Editing: Avatar

Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker

Visual Effects: Avatar

Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air

Original Screenplay: Inglourious Basterds

Director: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker

Best Picture: Avatar

I would like to be wrong about Avatar winning Best Picture, as I liked The Hurt Locker much better. However, my pick here is based on how I think the new Best Picture voting system is going to work out, as I feel that it will really mess with predictions.

Blackhawk Wingsday: A Brief Interlude Before We Get Back on Track

I mentioned a few months ago that the Blackhawks seem to be making a mini-comeback of late, with their appearances in The Brave and the Bold, Batman Confidential, and the forthcoming First Wave miniseries. I was surprised, though, to see them make an unexpected cameo in the latest issue of Justice League of America, written by James Robinson and pencilled by Mark Bagley. In a flashback involving some mysterious alien device that the New New (Newish?) Gods are after, Robinson includes several Quality Comics heroes.



This issue, number 42, also marks the last issue I'm buying of Justice League, after continuously following JLA series in various incarnations for more than 25 years. I've been making a concerted effort lately to stop buying certain series purely out of habit, especially ones that I just haven't enjoyed in quite a while. However, after I made this decision, I feel like this issue is saying to me, "Don't go, Doctor K! We promise we'll be better! See! Here are the Blackhawks--isn't this exactly what you want?" But unfortunately, it's too late (though I do love the War Wheel).

The Gil Kane Punch of the Week 36: A Veritable Barrage of Blows!

From Green Lantern 51 (March 1967; reprinted in Showcase Presents Green Lantern vol. 3), comes this panel in the story "Green Lantern's Evil Alter Ego," written by (according to the credits) "Tiger" John Broome and drawn by "Pussycat" Gil Kane. Green Lantern fights Neoman in the 58th century!

In the Classroom with Doctor K!

Readers often try to imagine what it would be like to take a class with Doctor K (at least, I assume they do. I have no hard evidence to support this.) Some might think it's all "Look how racist this Blackhawk comic is!" and detailed punch analyses, but it is often much more than that. This short film by some of my students reveals my pedagogical strategies:



It was fun to help my students out for a few minutes on this project. I enjoy having students who get into cool stuff like this.

Also, over at the Bureau Chiefs site, I've got a piece up on how to win your Oscar pool. Last year, when I went 18/24 in Oscar picks, I was asked here and on Twitter to put together some advice for making picks. I had a lot of fun writing this one. Feel free to leave comments and any tips of your own.

The Bureau Chiefs!

As I've mentioned before here, I'm part of the team collectively known as "The Bureau Chiefs" who put out humorous tidbits at Fake AP Stylebook on Twitter. This week, the Bureau Chiefs website went live at www.thebureauchiefs.com.

The site will feature our humorous take on the news and pop culture, as well as feature articles and reviews. My first piece, a review of Joe Hill's new novel, Horns, went up today.
In addition to occasional book reviews, I'll also have a regular feature where I write about a different cult movie every Friday. This will be in a format and approach similar to what I use when writing about horror and sci-fi movies during the Halloween Countdown every year, so if you like that, you definitely should check this out.

Also, the launch of the Bureau Chiefs site means some changes for things here at the 100-Page Super Spectacular. For the past few months, I've basically been limiting myself here to the weekly Gil Kane punches and Blackhawk posts (the latter of which which has been unfortunately absent the last two weeks). While I have written about movies and prose fiction on this blog in the past, I'm pretty much moving all that writing over to the Bureau Chiefs site. That will leave this blog for writing about comics, which is ostensibly what it has been for a while, anyway. Once I get ahead on some of the assignments for the Bureau Chiefs, I hope to expand the comics writing here beyond the two regular features that I've been limited to for some time (and I promise to get back on track with the Blackhawk posts).

I'll also post an announcement here when new stuff of mine goes up on the other site. Since that site isn't set up for comments, feel free to drop in any comments here about my stuff.

The Gil Kane Punch of the Week 35: The Finishing Touch!

I know I've been dipping into the Green Lantern well quite a bit over the last few weeks, but I've been fascinated with the evolution of Kane's style that can be traced through the four Showcase Presents Green Lantern volumes. Volume 1 is virtually punchless, and throughout those stories, Green Lantern tends to use his ring as more of a defensive weapon, or his ring constructs are used more to detain bad guys than to knock them out. This pattern holds true through most of volume 2, though we begin to see more punching occuring around issue 28, when writers Gardner Fox and John Broome start creating plots where GL's ring is useless in defeating the villain. With volume 3, the punches start coming hard and fast, and the typical Gil Kane punch becomes a regular part of Kane's repertoire, often appearing multiple times in a single story.

That brings us to Green Lantern 56 (Oct. 1967), written by Gardner Fox and pencilled and inked by Kane, which is the second part of a punchtastic two-parter that brings together the entire Green Lantern Corps. To mix things up a bit, I've chosen a punch not from Hal Jordan, but instead from one of Hal's mentors, Tomar-Re. Here, a winged Tomar-Re knocks out fellow Zudarian, Zoraldo.



"Now my fist at the point of his jaw--is knocking him out!" Yes, Tomar--on Earth, we refer to that as "a punch." I do like it, though, that Tomar, who is not used to fisticuffs, still leads with his left.

The Gil Kane Punch of the Week 34: The Punch Came C.O.D.!

From Green Lantern 37 (June 1965), in a story called "The Spies Who 'Owned' Green Lantern!" comes a rather unconventional punch:


In this story, written by Gardner Fox and inked by Sid Greene, Hal Jordan finds himself under the hypnotic spell of a spy ring, so in order to break that spell, GL commands his ring to shrink him down in his sleep, and then he has Pieface mail him to the spies. This plan doesn't really make any sense, but it does give GL this opportunity to punch his way out of an envelope.

Blackhawk Wingsdays: The Outcasts of Blackhawk Island!

The Blackhawks have fought and defeated (often by accident) many enemies that threaten the peace of the world. However, Blackhawk 202 (Nov. 1964) reveals one enemy that they simply cannot defeat: age descrimination!



Also in this issue: the Blackhawks actually fly their goddam planes!

I do want to point out, though, that the splash page here is a pants-on-fire liar. As a Blackhawk scholar, I must address this claim that Blackhawk Island has "never been seen by outsiders." In fact, a quick perusal of the Showcase Presents: Blackhawk volume proves that the black knights were letting reporters and others on the island all the time. So, I'm calling bullshit on this.

In this issue, the Blackhawks battle the Hammer, yet another criminal mastermind who uses elaborate machines to commit his crimes, like this giant flying saucer that vacuums up precious minerals.

Though the Blackhawks handily defeat the Hammer's flying saucer, little do they know that the villain has an ulterior motive: he wants to track the team's flight path in order to trace the location of Blackhawk Island.

This is a pretty elaborate plan when he could have just googled "Blackhawk Island location" and gotten the same result.

On the island, the team undergoes some rigorous training, which often results in Hendrickson receiving some ribbing for his age. To prove he's not an old man, Hendy performs a triple gainer and knocks Stan into the water:



Meanwhile, in a sub off the coast of Blackhawk Island, Hammer launches Operation Methusaleh, which involves some kind of green gas that causes all who come in contact with it to age rapidly.

Right here is where Hammer's plan falls apart, even before it gets started. There is a wide variety of poison gases that Hammer could have used here that would wipe out the Blackhawks instantly and give him total access to this secret, uncharted island. Instead, he has to get all fancy with this bullshit aging gas.

The Blackhawks' system of fans keeps the gas--which they think is just a weird green fog--just off shore. Soon, though, a report comes in of pirate activity, and Blackhawk sends Andre, Hendrickson, and Stan out in the Blackhawk sub in order to investigate. In the process, the trio get exposed to the green gas. Of course, if they had just flown in their planes--which is what the Blackhawks do, after all--this wouldn't be a problem.

The three heroes don't actually find any pirate activity, and so they head back to the island. Soon, though, the exposure to the gas takes effect:

Man, I just love how Andre talks to himself in the mirror. Unfortunately, his pussy-hounding days are over as he turns into a decrepit old man.

The same happens to Hendrickson and Stan as well:


Also, in an odd turn of events, Blackhawk's own right arm becomes withered and old, possibly because Andre touched him there.

You don't want to know what else became withered and old because Andre touched it.

With this turn of events, Blackhawk has no choice but to make a drastic decision that opens him up to a huge age-descrimination lawsuit: the three old men must be fired because the team can't waste resources dragging along some senior citizens.

No retirement party, no gold watch--the three seniors are just put in a boat and cast adrift.

This proves to be a huge mistake, as Hammer makes his way onto the island with his various gadgets and has his way with the remaining Blackhawks:


With all the young Blackhawks captured, the three old men return to the island to live out their final days, and since Hammer does not see them as a threat, he lets them do what they want.

However, even as old men, the Blackhawks shouldn't be counted out. All of the senior citizen paraphernalia turns out to be cleverly hidden weapons. Andre's cane is actually a rifle, and Stan's ear trumpet...

Also, Hendrickson has somehow hidden a giant bazooka in his wheelchair:

Once Hammer is captured, the Blackhawks have a couple of dilemmas to solve: one, they need to find out how to de-age their teammates, and two, they need to do something about the fact that Hammer and his henchmen know the location of Blackhawk Island.

Luckily, they have a Nazi machine that will take care of both problems:


The story ends without Blackhawk acknowledging that he was wrong to exile Andre, Stan, and Hendrickson just because they are old. In fact, he could have gotten off by just saying, "It was my plan all along to have the three old men return and save us!" And so, the discriminatory labor policies of Blackhawk Island remain intact and unchallenged.

According to the Grand Comics Database, "The Outcasts of Blackhawk Island" was written by Bob Haney, even though he's not credited in the issue itself. Though this story certainly has touches of that patented Bob Haney insanity, I had always thought Haney didn't come on this book until issue 203. I'll have to double-check my records on this.

The Gil Kane Punch of the Week 33: Right Makes Might!

A few weeks back, I mentioned that Green Lantern 58 (Jan. 1968), was a pretty punchtastic issue. In "Peril of the Powerless Green Lantern!" written by Gardner Fox and inked by Sid Greene, GL finds he is having strange reactions to his adventures, such as overwhelming fear, greed, and sadistic tendencies toward criminals. For example, he really lays into three common thugs:



The Guardians diagnose him with combat fatigue and strip him of his ring, but he still has to face some challenges, as detailed in this earlier post.

Also in this issue, a powerless Hal Jordan spends two pages beating the shit out of a bear:

I can tell you right now, that bear does not appreciate the taste of Florsheim.

Blackhawk Wingsday: The Enemy Blackhawk Creatures!

During this period of change in the Blackhawk series, a recurring plot occurs in which one or more of the Blackhawks turns against the rest of the team, usually by being transformed into a monster by an evil scientist. Once again, one really has to question the efficacy of a crime fighting team that spends most of their time either fighting each other or rescuing their leader from deadly peril of their own making.

"The Enemy Blackhawk Creatures," from Blackhawk 201, fits this pattern, as the cover shows team members getting transformed into bizarre energy creatures. However, the splash page seems to set up an entirely different story:

It seems like the writer (and no writer is credited here, but it may have been Arnold Drake, who did much of the writing of the series along with France Herron, until Bob Haney took over a few issues later) couldn't decide if he wanted to do tiny Blackhawks or electrical Blackhawks, and instead put both hands together and combined the two.

The story opens with the Blackhawks chasing after some daring crooks who have just stolen the famed "Pearl of India" from the local museum. Andre manages to tackle one of the thugs before he escapes on a helicopter, but in the ensuing melee, the pearl comes loose:

So, while the crime was foiled, Andre feels bad that he managed to lose the pearl down a drain hole, and he makes a strange wish: he wants to be small so that he could fit down the drain and recover the pearl.

Coincidentally, Andre's request is overheard by Cheech and Chong, who help Andre get small. Actually, it's the famous Professor Milbrook, who has recently been in the news for his unorthodox scientific experiments. He informs Andre that a new device he has invented will help him achieve his desire for shrinking.

Milbank takes Andre to his lab, where he demonstrates the machine on a rabbit. After the first blast of the machine, the bunny becomes a giant electrical rabbit, then another blast turns it into a palm-sized hare. Deciding that absolutely nothing could go wrong with this, Andre volunteers to be the machine's next subject.

It turns out, however, that Professor Milbrook has other plans, and he only exposes Andre to the first blast:

As a mindless creature of pure energy, Andre becomes the professor's slave, and the evil scientist turns the monster on the Blackhawks.

During the ensuing battle, Hendrickson and Chop-Chop are also turned into electrical creatures, and while Blackhawk discovers that the creatures are weakened by water, he and the remaining team members are unable to stop them. That means Blackhawk has to come up with another plan:
The plan to lure the creatures to "Playland" amusement park turns out to be total crap, as Blackhawk has no idea what to do with the creatures once he's lured them in there. Instead, all the Blackhawks are captured and turned into energy creatures.

Milbrook then reveals a side-effect of his device: the energy creatures will automatically turn small after a certain period of time elapses, so in order to control his new captives, he just makes them small at the same time:


While tiny, the Blackhawks manage to pick up a broom and cold-cock the professor with it, knocking him out cold. They then sneakily turn the device on him. Little Milbrook and Tiny Blackhawk fight, and Milbrook's face is dislodged, revealing that he isn't Milbrook after all:

Karl (The Con) Kendell--the criminal with the worst nickname--kidnapped the real Professor Milbrook and used his devices to further his criminal career. In fact, he had set the whole thing up with the pearl thieves in the first place.

So, let me make sure this is straight: Kendell's plan all along was to turn the Blackhawks into his own personal army of energy creatures. In order to achieve this goal, he hires a gang to rob the museum of the Pearl of India, confident that the Blackhawks will answer the museum alarm. Then, knowing full well that the Blackhawks will botch the collar, Kendell has the crook intentionally drop the pearl down a drain. Kendell does this so that the Blackhawks will wish they could shrink and, therefore, will be amenable to his offer to use the shrinking machine invention. That is one goddam fool-proof plan.

As part of Kendell's punishment, he is dropped by string down the drain in order to recover the pearl.



At the end of the story, the Blackhawks seem to want to play with Kendell like a little toy doll for a while before they return him to normal size.

The Gil Kane Punch of the Week 32: SKROGG!

Sometimes, I just like to open one of the Showcase Presents: Green Lantern volumes randomly and see if I can land on a page with a Gil Kane punch. The first volume is relatively punchless, perhaps indicating that the historical development of the Gil Kane punch evolved over the course of his Silver Age superhero work. By the time we get to the issues collected in volume 3, however, the punch has clearly become Kane's signature move, and we can find as many as five or six punches per issue.

Case in point: this image from Green Lantern 54, "Menace in the Iron Lung," written by John Broome, with a rare instance of Kane inking his own pencils at this time.



This is, by all means, a pretty standard Gil Kane punch, with Hal Jordan slugging the guard of the titular villain's estate (it does, however, get bonus points for the sound effect, "SKROGG!"). But a quick scan through the issue reveals no fewer than seven typical Gil Kane punches, plus several variations. The plethora of punches in this issue, in fact, makes me realize that a taxonomy of Gil Kane punches is long overdue, and I really need to get to work on that.

The Gil Kane Punch of the Week 31: Taste Fisted Flesh!

As I mentioned the other day, I've really dropped the ball the last couple of weeks on the Gil Kane punches, so I'm going to try to do some catch-up here with this glorious page from Warlock 3 (Dec. 1972), written by Mike Friedrich and inked by Tom Sutton.



Friedrich's dialogue on this whole page is just fantastic--it seems written specifically to match the dynamic action of Gil Kane's style. I know the next time I punch somebody, I'm going to open with "Taste fisted flesh and feel defeat drip down your throat!"

I'd like to thank pal Bully at Comics Oughtta Be Fun for sending me the scan of that great page. And I'd like to take this opportunity to invite any readers who might have favorite Gil Kane punches to send in scans--any contributions will be greatly appreciated!