Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Pop Quiz

Okay, readers: clear off your desks and take out a pen and a piece of paper--it's time for a quiz to see if you've been paying attention to recent lessons.

Question 1 (Multiple Choice)
What is wrong with this picture?
a) Superman fails to use his extraordinary vision powers to spot the endangered Lois Lane floating just below the water's surface.
b) The Evinrude 50hp motor depicted here is too large for such a small boat.
c) Superman is passing up the opportunity to punch a shark, which is entirely inconsistent with his character.
d) In the story inside this cover, Lois Lane is never once threatened by a shark.

Question 2 (Short Answer)

Where exactly is that shark headed?

Question 3 (True or False)

This image--featuring Lois Lane trapped in a cave, gagged, chained to a target on which her genitalia serve as the bullseye, and threatened by dart-wielding Mexican banditos--was adapted directly from the dream journal of Sigmund Freud, in an entry written when the pioneer of psychoanalysis awoke from a troubled sleep after eating a Cheesy Gordita Crunch for his Fourth Meal.

Question 4 (Essay)

Discuss how this image fits firmly at the intersection of feminist and postcolonial theories.

Question 5 (Short Answer)

What is the white substance dripping off the end of Lois Lane's spear? (Hint: look where it's pointing!)

Question 6 (True or False)

In the time it takes Superman to utter those two sentences, he could have rescued Lucy Lane, stopped up a volcano in Venezuela, rescued a cat from a tree, foiled a bank robbery, and ordered a venti skinny vanilla latte at Starbucks, but he chooses not to save Lucy Lane's life as payback for all the times she screwed over Jimmy Olsen.

Please provide your answers in the comments, and remember: this will affect your final grade.


Anonymous said...

1) C
2) To norway after winning a ticket to a "boat show" as part of an Aquaman sting operation.
3)False. It was an EXTRA cheesy Gordito Crunch.
4) Well, Um... Because Bob Kanigher, that's why?
5) Moldy Cheeze Whiz.
6) Sorta. It's also because every right minded citizen hates Lucy Lane.

I will now wait for my grade.

Chris Sims said...

As someone who took your class in college at least twice, I'd like to point out that this should have been the actual exam for both halves of British Literature.

And the answer to Question 2 is clearly "straight towards the vajapocalypse."

Anonymous said...

Wow, Lois looks hot on every one of those covers.

I'd hit it.

Timothy Burke said...

Clearly the shark shares your enthusiasm, Chris.